Spectator x Organizer

Since a youthful, blooming age, I’ve always had the tendency to be involved in almost everything I possibly could. Having the drive to lead and direct has always been what I am passionate about. It is what propels me as an individual. The raging passion, the looming willpower, the heightening enthusiasm makes up who I am. Eager to learn, grow, and to achieve what feels like, the unachievable.

No doubt, my malleable figure has fallen and been crushed on several very distinct occasions. With that, you have to bounce right up and continue your fight. The fight for yourself, for your community, for the betterment of the world at large. I tend to be conflicted. Conflicted with my personal choices, my own vows, and my decisions.

Now I’ll humbly pose a question for you: Do you prefer being a spectator or do you prefer organising? This, my friends, is what I ask myself on a daily basis. However, I am still unable to give myself a proper answer.

The ability to see things bloom 

Being in a spectator’s viewpoint, you are only able to see the result. The outcome. You are hindered from the actual surfacing of the process. You are just able to see the finished product. You won’t be able to look at the ingredients behind it, the composition constituting what makes the finalised product what it is.

Being the person behind a project, you are able to see how things slowly unfold. For as terrible as it may seem, or as beautifully metamorphosised it may be. Using the process of pregnancy as an analogy, you may be able to witness your stomach grow at wide widths. And one day, being able to see your child grow. Your project is your own child.

You want to protect him/her at all costs. To provide them with shelter, wholesome food, great company, cherish them and grow with them. Seeing the end product, when they start achieving your unachievable, you nod satisfactorily, you praise, you shed a tear, and the process continues. It is when you are able to physically testify your accomplishments, that you have the urgency and drive to extend your physicalities beyond your boundaries.

One of the most gratifying elements in life is the ability to witness the moment when something/ someone unfolds and flourishes. And when you keep receiving the sense of pleasure, it translates in your mind and continually keeps you nurtured and driven.

Overworking, Wearying, Exhausting

Productivity is vital, and it most certainly is the core to the successes of your ongoings. Being involved and active are prominent components to maximise your contribution to society, community and to establish a better sense of oneself.

Bringing my own perspective into context, track and field played a massive role in the upbringing of my mental and physical self. I have been highly involved in track and field throughout the prolonged years of my high school life. And I dare say it was brutally painful, it messed me up at intervals, it destroyed my impulse occasionally, but from there, I was able to behold the germination of oneself.

Having to continually push yourself was never a smooth ride. It was mentally frustrating and physically demanding. When you’re inches away from the finish line, and you hear your spectators shrieking the name of yours, the fight has never been stronger.

Keeping your eyes on the prize

Being a spectator, you never have to execute. Just merely watching from a distance. Sometimes, whenever I host events or similarly following the sentiments of the organisers, I yearn to be in the spectators’ shoes. Because at the end of the day, what do you have to lose right? 

You are free to critic, you have the freedom to participate without having to go through the phase of starting from scratch, seeing things fall apart and continually going through the cycle of failure and successes.

I think finding the right balance will answer our concerns. Sometimes we remain shunned. Missed opportunities, wrong timings, the constant need for validation, seeking for progress and finding light in every possibility. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to organize, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to either. Follow your heart, and go where your willpower leads you.

Toodles,

Sandra™